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| 08:30pm 08/02/2003 |
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Kids it's time to sharpen your dagger minds, cut throats and hearts with knife fight eyes. / Draw your lines in the sand where we used to hold hands/ chanting "we care so much!" and i'll do what i can./ I'll do what i can to help you along. I'll switch sides with turning tides cuzz i dont care who's wrong./ I cant wait to stab right through your backs, go right to the heart and rip it out fast./ I dont like being hurt, and one to many "It wasn't intentional's" and "I'm sure it wasn't personal's" have found me too tired to care anymore./ So lets start just one more fight you fucking babies./ lets start with shit talking, "tell me quick! While they arent watching."/ Move onto cold stares and then to hair pulling./ Rip out your knives lets get this party moving!/ i saw this coming a mile away and for the first time in my life i have nothing to say./ so dont tell me your side of the story.
i'm not going to try and save anymore friendships. i'll learn to love watching beautiful things die. |
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| 02:01pm 06/02/2003 |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE COOLEST CUTEST AWSOMEST GIRL ON CAMPUS!! WE LOVE YOU LIZ |
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| fuck that! |
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| 01:19pm 06/02/2003 |
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ok, so.. i have 2 friends now who are engaged to get married........ washed up and fuckin through at 18 years old. fuck that its time for a
YOUTH ATTACK! |
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| ha |
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| 01:06pm 06/02/2003 |
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umd girl pants crew in effect. my classes are soo tough this semster and i dont sleep enough cuzz me and dex stay up to late jamming and talking! goodbye 3.7 GPA. i'm sick and moody, who wants a kiss? |
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| 11:46pm 05/02/2003 |
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music: chis singing emo crap
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post if you love me!! |
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| frostbite |
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| 04:40am 02/02/2003 |
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Me, more than everybody else. tell me i'm funnier than they are. cooler, stronger, smarter, taller, thinner, more talented. Better. Tell me tell me please. Im cold and it's dark. Slouching walk and a pushover face. I dont see anything but competition. Preying for the day i have nothing to hold onto. The truth is, i hope, that im slowly building the nerve to kill you all. at rock bottom i'll eat your bones.
9mm kisses |
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| sweet deal |
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| 12:04am 27/01/2003 |
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mood: ecstatic music: dex talking
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hi, im dan i live at u mass dartmouth. will you please make out with me?
i'm back at umass, my vacation was rad, i already miss my friends but i'm back with swass and it's all good. me and katie broke up and i haven't heard from her in a month. I just got a whole new bass setup so im stoked and cant wit to jam. that's it... that's all. im done talking... goodnight |
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| hey! |
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| 12:56am 28/12/2002 |
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im here in norwell. i'm working at the conviniance store on 53 again, so come visit. i got a cell phone for christmass, my number is 1 781 799 2685. ummm, i miss swass crew but it's nice to be with friends from home. katie, thank you for all the good and i'm so glad we can be friends. this was my fault and i am so sorry i put you through it. i dont have a computer at home so dont look forward to many updates. later alligators, i'll see you at the res. |
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| yeah break! |
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| 10:41am 20/12/2002 |
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mood: happy music: roomate snoorin'
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i'm comin' home!! sweet. I can't wait to see my friends. i'll mis swass crew a ton too.. but home sounds so nice. i have yet to back anything and i can't find my sister anywhere and she has to come get me. i'm sure things will work our. i'm hopin to see jess in quincy over the break too. (sigh) i dont think i'll have much computer access over the break, so if anybody wants to hang out my # is 781 792 0570. now it is time for one last visit with my favorite member of swass..... rescaf, i'm in love with you. |
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| kickin it |
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| 09:48am 17/12/2002 |
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mood: restless music: radio head- like spinning plates
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At night you can't hide from the monsters inside you. I tried to drown them out with music, but they know all my tricks... I can' t meet my own deadlines, and i'm tired of feeling sorry. I'm not looking forward to christmass this year, i dont think my presents will be well recieved by all. I'm sorry.
Anyhow, i was going to buy a peavey t-40 bass but some douchebag got to it before me. They staped making them in the the early 80's. Looks like i'm stuck with the fender for a little while longer. Im praying the school comes through with y bass cab money... I realy need it, i need sound. I can't deal with not being able to play my bass much longer and i know i'm gonna have to wait 'till after break to get my money... oh well. rock on. |
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| damnit |
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| 04:27am 15/12/2002 |
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mood: frustrated music: my mind snapping
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rich did'nt say a word about my leaving early on thursday night, in fact we chilled and watched some japnimation movies on the big screen. shits good, i however look horendous. i think it's been like 5 days since i showered, and my room is at least 90 degrees. going between the my hot room and the cold outside makes for a face only a mother could love. I used to be a good lookin' kid, then i got fat and then puberty hit, and HA! i dont help myself out very much though, im sick of trying so goddamn hard to look good for other people. If i could give you one piece of advice fr living in this vain world it's this: beauty is everything. i know thats more of a statement and not a piece of advice, but think about it. In other news i got a note from the music store stating that my bass cab was in fact destroyed by water damage. so looks like UMD is going to be buying me a nice christamass present in the form of a 4x10 hartke.
Stop playing make believe. You cannot deny the innevitability of the situation. |
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| ahhh |
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| 02:51pm 13/12/2002 |
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mood: bored music: the who- pinball wizzard
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i hate killing time! where is everybody??
Ok, so i go to work last night and set up lighting and sound for a DJ. I figure i can leave for a little while and then come back to check on the party and eventually take down the equiptment. I tell my friend tim with whome i was working that i was gong to duck out for about half an hour to go to a christmass party and loa and behold i get back and what has happened? I got fuckin' fired, sweet! I ran a bit late coming back from the party and even though my boss always lets us go for events like this and they didn't need me, he got pissed and punched me out and told Tim i was fired. To prove my devotion to UMD tech crew i finished the event without pay. Did i mention that the key to the autorium broke inside the lock and i had to go up to a 15 foot balcony and repel down to the booth to let us inside the auditorium, i could have died. If risking my life wont get me my job back than i don't know what will. The point is that i realy dont care about the job, i just hate letting down my boss rich. I'm preying my heroick act will win me back my job.
In other news, Dex's roomate is definately moving out so i will have a sweet pad for next semester. I'm home for christmas next friday, and then i'm leaving on the 11th for Arizona to chill with the mom and Ed, i'll be back the 18th.
if anybody has a bass cab they want to sell. let me know. I've been without a cab for almost a month and i think i'm going to die from a rock 'n roll withdrawl
i'f you're smart you'll wisen up and realize that....... |
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| sweet deal |
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| 10:33am 11/12/2002 |
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mood: lazy music: pshhhh, who like music anyway?
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yeah dude. i just want to say that drunk kids are my favorite thing in th world. last night my roomate got in a fight with the party kids for whome he had baught the alcohol. kids were bangin on my door untill 3am wanting to kick his ass and my ass for being his roomate. From now on i'm just gonna call campus police, the only reason i didn't is because i didn't want to get my roomate in trouble even though all this shit was his fault. Every time i see kids that drunk i wish i was 7 feet tall, so i could just kill them with my fists. I honestly dont care if people have a few drinks and hang out, to each his own ya know, but last night i feared for my safety. I'm gonna have so harsh words with all those kids tonight. I am soo sick of this hall and of my roomate, hes a nice enough kid but i just cant deal with living here anymore. I'm sorry dex, but i may have to kill your roomate so that i may live in your room next semester. I realy wish we had a big sXe crew down here.
In other news, i have finished all my major assighnemts and have only a few finals before i can finally declare this senester over. If my dorm life didn't suck i would love this place just because i'm doong so well in my classes. I'm just preying next semester goes half as smooth.
Providence is cool. To all who witnessed the johnny rocked do-wop group.... i think we witnessed our new calling in life. |
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| hooray for stuff |
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| 10:48am 07/12/2002 |
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mood: contemplative music: minor threat
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yup, i definately wrote a long assed livejournal entry last night but for some reason my program didn't work and it never actually got posted...... sweet fuckin deal. It was just some more dismal crap about how i dont want to get older. I am supposed to balace full time school with a full time job so i can live in the city in an apartment and still have medical insurance through my dad's union. I dont have any skills so i know i'll end up with some jerk job. It all boils down to this, in the long run if i dont escape the path of laying before myself i think i will kill myself. I just keep preying for the guts to escape it. You know what the worst part is? What i am saying is so fucking typical of teens my age it makes me want to puke. This is just another stage in my devlopment
all i want to know is am I holding on, am i moving on?
what do we do what do we do?
try. |
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| escape |
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| 02:57am 07/12/2002 |
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mood: confused music: the air raid siren down the street
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why am i still cooperating? I plan on moving to the city, living in an apartment, paying for utilities and rent. This means a i need another shitty job. I have no skills, so in order to pay for college ( i need to be enroled full time if i want to have health coverage from my dad's union) i will need to work full time and balance school work..... Like always i dream of elegant words to to...
why?
we enter the rat race so early. They want us to fear life and to go that way. Neck tie hell. Im a round peg I know im being pounded into another round whole. I just wish i had the guts. who am i kidding? I know i'll just end up another jerk working for a pentoin. having kids, getting devorced. Greedy offspring see you as an embarasment. End up a corpse on a matress long forgotten and neglected, or with my memories painted red on a wall. Beauty is everything. remember that |
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| 03:52pm 05/12/2002 |
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mood: gotta pee! music: take a wild guess
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all things lost,
nothing gained
every passing day intensifies my pain
il look towards tomorrow
yet cling to yesterday
hoping sometime i'll find my way
each day a reminder of my mistakes
each day a reminder of what it takes
nothing to look forward to from what i can see
the old days ended to soon for me
i miss the days when nothing mattered. All my old cd's skip. tune in next time for more deep thaughts. OH yeah, me and dex are gonna be roomies next semester! super rad huh? |
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| buried but breathing |
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| 10:50am 04/12/2002 |
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mood: rushed music: the trouble
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It has been snowing down here at UMD. Ilike the snow, not so much for sledding or snowball fights but because of the mood. As far as how i am doing... I'm ok, hot coco with jess was a long time coming, that girl dissapears all the time but when shes around things are better. Honestly, nobody here is as lonely as they say, we are all just trying to be cool lonely litte deep thinking live journal sluts. Work has built up and i have been ignoring my family, distant friends and a certain girl who desearves my attention. i dont know where this is going or where im going right now. I know im not helping her with her troubles at school any by not being arround. But that is how i deall with averything, i pretend problems arent there. To tell you the truth FUCK IT! I dont understand why people dwell on things so much. when things bother me i stop caring about them. Loneliness is bitch but you all hold the key to feeling welcomed needed and loved. Who here remembers the golden rule? bsides, if all else fails then just let go, true freedom is found at rock bottom. All it takes is a sip of beer (something to relax, ya know, take the edge off). Just do whats cool and you will make friends. Fuck all of this. What happened to the quitter in me? I dream of a day when i pack up everything i need to survive into a big napsack, hop on a bick and leave all of my worries behind, i just need a friend or two to go with me. This goes out to eric M, One day we will leave all of this behind. We can be kings pissing on the world. All i need is excuse, i swear to god, just keep pushing me.
find all me spelling mistakes and gramatical errors and win a prize. |
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sterio84's journal
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